you got that hollywood glow

OMG

I'm obsessed with Amanda Blank. From Philly. She's a rapper.

Here are some songs you should probably listen to and love like I do:

Something Bigger, Something Better
Lemme Get some
Big Heavy

Other than that, not much going on. I would get really into Amanda Blank right before Christmas, hahaha. Also, where did 2009 go? I have to say that I probably missed my year anniversary of this blog, but you know, that's ok. I'll do an end of the year post. woo--hoo2010!

Also, I finished my first semester of grad school-4.0. And also, 1/4th finished!

Mac and Cheese

I have four favorite foods:

1) Mac and Cheese
2) Steak
3) Sushi
4) French Fries

Sometimes, I have intense cravings for these foods. This evening is one of them. I NEEDED mac and cheese. perhaps it is because the temperature dropped. Perhaps it is because I am almost done with school, and I wanted to treat myself. Perhaps it is because my wonderful boyfriend can't be with me this evening. PERHAPS I JUST WANTED SOME MAC AND CHEESE

Because of this craving, I have selected going to a restaurant just so that I can have macaroni and cheese for dinner. I don't know what else I may be getting, perhaps a side salad. It doesn't matter; soon, delicious cheesy noodles will be in my belly and I will be too excited to even care.

I Won't Ever Hurt You (A Trip to the Movies Part 2: The Future)

So this post will be about TWILIGHT and NEW MOON. But no gushing, because that's not how I roll.

So New Moon comes out on Friday. Let's start at the beginning of my Twilight fascination: my good friend Jenny M. recommended to me that I read the books, because she loved them so. It was the summer after I graduated college, I had nothing to do and had a very long list of books that I was almost finished with, so I thought, why the hell not? I tend to like YA fiction, partly because I want to be able to recommend things for my future students/my brother to read. So I got the first booka dn ti was sooooo cheap because it was paperback. I read it in a day, day and a half. I don't remember, I just remember being in a haze of loving it.
Now, part of the reason why I loved it at the time was because I LOVE vampires. When I was a child, I was scared of them, so much so that if I knew my parents were watching a vampire movie, I would tell them they had to get it out of the house. Part of the reason I sleep with the blanket over my head is because when I was little, I thought that would prevent vampires from biting me. (Old habits die hard) However, my love for vampires came in around age 16, and I've been hooked for awhile. Vampires and Zombies. Awesome.

So Twilight had vampires. I also was semi attracted to Edward. He loved Bella, he wanted to be with her, he wanted to keep her safe. I will admit, this attracted me. Perhaps it was because I was having a rough time emotionally. I'll man up and admit it: I had just graduated college, I didn't know or have a job yet or know what I was doing, and in the man department I was being consistently disappointed. It makes sense that I would be attracted to a book character who actively WANTED to be with a person, as my person did not actively want to be with me at all. It was a rough summer/almost 2 years. Anywho, because of this, I liked it. I never liked Bella, I thought she was an annoying character who was all woe-is-me-my-parents-are-divorced. Oftentimes, I get short with people/book characters who complain about their parents being divorced, just because mine have been for so long. It's an insensitive characteristic that I am semi ashamed of. But whatever, I didn't like Bella.

Because it was the summer and because the first three books were already out, I flew through them at an alarming speed. I was well done with them before Breaking Dawn came out, and I was close to reading Eclipse before I got Breaking Dawn just so the story would stay fresh in my memory. But I didn't, just went and got Breaking Dawn and flew through it. Now, I must admit that I did realize at the time that this was the worst writing ever. However, I was originally compelled by the story, which is why I continued to read. Also, I have a bad habit of when I don't know the ending, I have to know, no matter what kind of story.

So I finished the series and was semi disappointed. It was over and what was I left with? Nothing. I let it sit in for a couple of months and I came to this conclusion: I fucking hate everything the book stands for. First, I was very against the fact that Bella lived and breathed for a man who wasn't even alive. Granted, take the supernatural aspect out of it and Bella still lived and breathed for a MAN. She has no outside interests that we are ever show, just Edward Edward Edward Edward. Nothing else. Now, I understand being in love. It's happened to me. I'm in love right now. However, I have outside interests. Granted, they aren't much right now, but I like to read, I like to dance by myself in my room, I watch tv, I am focused on school work, I surf the internet, I like walking, I like hanging out with friends I like reading celebrity gossip, I like clothes, I play videogames and sometimes, I color. The thing is, only one of those is because of my boyfriend, and that's playing videogames. And to be honest, I have always liked playing them, I just had gotten out of the habit and he renewed interest in the matter for me. However, Bella doesn't have any of these. When she has to hang out with people who aren't vampires or werewolves, it's a burden for her. She has friends who like to hang out with her, but she could give two craps about them. I guess in her downtime she reads or something, but there's no mention of it. Really, it's like the times in the book that aren't important enough to write about, she's just sitting on the toilet, thinking about how much she loves Edward. Do something else with your time! Love can be all encompassing and you can think about your significant other 95% of the time, but fill your day with stuff so you're not just sitting around. And so you have a life of your own. I think that was the point about New Moon: to try to get Bella to have a life outside of a man. Which was then a fail, because she just hung out with Jacob all the time and tried to see Edward in near death situations. Ridiculous.
Secondly, I don't know how I feel about the underlying "wait until marriage to have sex" theme. While I recognize that it is a personal choice and I'm not trying to judge, I think it was strange that it was never really explained in that way. Bella's all rip roarin' to go at it and Edward is all "let's wait because I might hurt you." I don't think that we should scare people into not having sex because it will "hurt." I mean, having a baby hurts, people do that. Breaking bones hurts, people do that. So, that's not the way to explain it. I don't know. It was an underlying theme that probably wasn't meant to rub people the wrong way, but it made me uncomfortable. But maybe that's just because I'm a huge hooker (kidding.)
Thirdly, the idea of Edward being a perfect man is great and all, but I'm not sure if it is ok to give young adults/young teenagers the idea that there is a perfect man. And while you think your man is perfect, that does not excuse them from making mistakes or from not being perfect all the time. It's not really being responsible to give girls this male romantic model and have that not be true in all cases. It's unrealistic. Also, to a point, he's kind of controlling of Bella in the "Don't do that, I want/need you to be safe." While it is appropriate to be worried, at the end of the day, you make decisions as a couple, no one tells anyone what else to do.
So these are my thoughts. In no way am I saying I am not going to see the movie New Moon, because I am. I'm disgusted with myself as well, guys. I'm not sure what my Love/Hate relationship is with this movie, but I think it's good that I recognize that I hate it, that I can tell the reasons why I hate it and that I'm old enough to know better. And this is possibly why I won't ever recommend the books to anyone younger than me, because they don't know better. It's bad enough that as a pre-teen/teenager you have ridiculous expectations about love and relationships, and you don't know anything about it and you get your examples from books, tv and movies. But for people to recommend these to people, I just think is irresponsible. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy the books and I"m not saying I won't continue to grossly enjoy the movies, I'm just saying there should be a "Caution: Unrealistic" sticker on them.
Also, I would like to instill some taste in my students, so I will not be recommending this book to them as it's not really very well written. In fact, I'm sure when I do become a teacher, I'll find a student who already writes better than Stephanie Myer. Also on my list of books that I will not recommend: Coldest Winter Ever. The fact that I see 8th graders reading this always hurts me on the inside.

I'm Simmering (A Trip to the Movies Part 1: The Present)

So this afternoon, Brian and I went to go see the Michael Jackson movie This Is It. If you don't know, this movie is about the rehearsals of the concert that Jackson was to perform in England before his death. So I would say that if you don't like Michael Jackson or his music, you would have no interest in this film. However, I LOVE his music, so for me, it was very thrilling. I very much enjoyed this film. It was very interesting to see Jackson go through his process, from choosing the dancers (YES) to the actual rehearsing of the songs, to the way that he wanted to see his vision performed for the audience. Say what you will about him, Jackson was a performer through and through and it really really showed in this documentary. He wanted to make sure that everything was perfect, the dancers, the songs, the crazy 3D movies. Everything. If this tour would have happened, it would have been AMAZING. Not that I had tickets to go or anything, but it was just going to be very intense. A lot of songs, a lot of awesomeness, crazy 3-D movies for THRILLER. It was just going to be good. If you have any interest in seeing this, you should go very soon, as it's only in theatres for 2 weeks. It just opened yesterday.

I love going to the movies. Patrick does not until we get there and then he enjoys himself. I've really been struggling because I used to go to the movies all the time and now I don't. So I'm going to make an effort during the week to go so that I can see all of the movies that I want to see, on my own time, and ask what movies he would be upset about if I saw without him (This is It was not one of them).

However, I also have a lot of movie codes. So we went to the show at 1:30pm on a Thursday. There were 6 other people in the theatre other than us, which is awesome. HOWEVER a couple sat very very close to us; in the row right in front of us, two seats to the side of Brian. That is TOO close when there is no one else around. There are almost a hundred other seats you could choose from and you want to be right up under some people? That's weird. And then. They talked through the whole movie, answered phones and made out. Right when someone was behind them. and it's not like Brian and I were at the very top. no no no. We were in the middle and there was tons of seating behind us. Also, this would be ok if they weren't over 35. Because they were. So that's messed up.

So that was my experience for today. Look out for tomorrow's post, where I FINALLY talk about Twilight because New Moon is coming out soon, so it feels very apropos for right now.

I hope you weren't waiting long. I hope this night makes up for time lost

I'm just going to start winning things on the internet. I've decided. so winning powers, come to me.

Also, at some point, I will be starting a "we go out and eat" food blog with my boyfriend. We've talked it to death. We don't have a title, and I think that is what is taking it so long. But believe you me, we go out to eat every weekend at least once, sometimes more than that, and we run the gamut on tastes (aka I try everything and I try to get him to try things for me) so it will be interesting. And we like doing things together, so this should be fun and will help continue to keep our minds working. Don't wanna get too old where we can't remember anything!

Not much else is new. I'm doing pretty well in school, if I do say so myself, and I just need to start filling my days with things. I signed up for a new program, called IN2Books, where I have a student pen pal and I write to them about books that they've chosen for both of us to read. Which is very exciting, for sure, because I love reading and I love kids! And I think the idea is great! If you can show kids that adults want to read and enjoy reading, I think that is some pretty awesome positive publicity for reading of books. And while I've been kind of behind lately, I DO really enjoy reading. I am currently reading two books, just because I got too excited about both of them to start one at once. So I am going to try to get back into reading.

I also am going to start jogging, I think, even though it's freezing and I probably shouldn't be running before my knee. But, I have supportive gym shoes and I want to start being healthy and more active. Since I don't have a job and only go to school two times a week in the evening, I spend a lot of time sitting around at my house. And while I semi-enjoy it (I get lonely a lot, is my only complaint), it is nice to be active and I do like to keep my body in shape. It was much easier in college, since I just went to dance practice and worked out before eating FOR FREE. That's the issue I think. I liked having a gym membership, but I don't like paying for it and I don't know if I can justify paying for it at this juncture. I might in the spring at the Loyola gym, but I'm not positive. So I'll run and stretch and do some exercise videos. Set up a nice little routine. It's not like I sleep in all day, I usually wake up around 7:30-8am, so I keep regular hours as if I were going to work. I just don't want to get out of that habit for when I do eventually work or next school year where I go to a school for 2 and a half days out of the week. So. I like to try to keep my body on a schedule so it's not shocked into something ridiculous.

I also want to plan a trip to Springfield so that Patrick and I can try the chili place that was on Man Vs. Food that my parents went to when we lived there. I mean, I probably went there, but I'm sure I wasn't munching on some chili at age 9 months. Hahahaha. But if I was, it would explain a lot about my life. Because I certainly do love chili.

Anyway. That's the deal for today. I am making stuffed peppers for dinner and Melrose Place comes on. All of these things are very exciting.

i'm forever young

So. It's October. My laptop is still broken. I got an A- on that test. I was offended that it wasn't a solid A, but I can deal with it. It's Monday.

I can't believe it is October. Time has gone by so quickly, I feel like it was just the summer. But it wasn't and it's most definitely fall for sure. The air is crisp and the leaves are crunchy and I wear hoodies. The only issue I have with fall is socks, but only because socks are prisons for your feet.

With October brings Homecoming. I am going this year and it will probably be my last year, just because I don't even really know anyone there anymore. Which is legit, because it just means that my friends are getting older, which I like. While getting older is scary, I actually really enjoy it. Just because it means that life is moving along and not changing. I don't know. I'm down.

I don't really have anythingSave Now to say, I just thought I should update so that people would know that I still exist.

i wanna get myself out of this bed

There are many days of the week. Today is Wednesday, one of my favorites. Actually, Wednesday IS my favorite day of the working week, and has been since I was in 6th grade. Wednesday is when all the good tv shows come. In 6th grade, that was Dawson's Creek, which I continued to watch until I was a sophomore in high school. I'm sure those Wednesdays when I was a senior in high school, it was the O.C. (don't ask me what show I watched junior year on Wednesdays, cause I couldn't tell you). In college, it was Lost. Hell, it's still Lost. However, there is the addition of Top Chef and Glee and occasionally, trashy MTV reality shows. Also in college, Wednesdays was Senior Meeting, and that was always fun.

So what does me explaining all of this have to do with anything? Why, it has to do with one thing and one thing only: motivation. Wednesdays, for me, are not only the best day of the work week but they are also the motivating day of the work week. Because if you get this and this done, you are halfway through the week and also, look what Wednesday evening has in store for you! TV, TV, more TV and drinking/having fun with friends.

And I was motivated, believe me, I was. But at some point yesterday, all of my plans fell flat and I've been sitting in the library for the last hour doing nothing when I have a test in 2 and a half hours. Now, it's not like I've not been studying for this test, because, I have been. But as my sister and my father both separately brought up to me: there is no reason to not get one hundred percent. And they are both right. We received a study guide. Said study guide is basically the test with the multiple choice answers taken out (I know, it's grad school, I was shocked too). I filled most of it out from memory. I made flash cards. I was in it to win it until yesterday and this morning, when I decided I was bored with studying. What. Who have I become. I also came to the library to do some work for other classes. I can see this not happening, as I didn't bring one of my books and I don't care to read the articles online. Fine. Also, I'm procrastinating right now by writing this blog entry. How lucky! I probably am going to stop writing now and dick around some more on the internet and freak out about living while not actually living! yay!!!